Jenny 1990-2005

As we all know, opinions are like elbows – everyone has one or two. And my opinion is that Michael Shiavo has the right to decide whether or not to withdraw the life support from poor Terri. Why should my opinion carry any weight at all? Well, I know a thing or two about caring for a loved one in a persistent vegetative state. I have been doing it for years.

I met Jenny in 1990 and it was love at first sight. She was breathtaking and I think my heart actually skipped a beat. I knew in an instant that she was the only one for me and that I must have her forever. Well meaning friends tried to stop our romance. They warned me she was bad and had a terrible reputation. “She's British, so you won’t be able to trust her. She will only break your heart, steal your money, and one day will leave you stranded” they said. But I wouldn’t listen. I promised before God to be her loving and faithful partner in sickness and health until death did us part.

How proud I was of her! Heads turned when we went out together. I laughed when I saw the lust in other men’s eyes as they leered at her curves. “I know you all want her but she’s mine, all mine” I silently replied. Our first months together were such happy ones.

And then things changed. She grew fickle. Stopped taking me to work preferring to spend days and then weeks away from home. Returning only after I threw fistfuls of dollars at her. Year after year she was unfaithful. Others told me to cut my losses and get rid of her. How could I? I loved her.

One day I found her lifeless on the garage floor. I called in professionals, experts in their field. “Surely she will improve. You can make her better, can’t you?” I wailed. They shook their heads and told me that she had flat lined. There was no electrical response. She would never be well. “It’s a genetic defect” they said.

I decided to keep her at home where I could look after her. I would talk to her and stroke her gently. I kept hoping for a miracle cure while paying those experts for physical therapy and transfusions. There was never a response.

In time I took a mistress like Michael Shiavo. She isn’t as beautiful as Jenny and I will never love her as much. But she is dependable. She is faithful and always there for me. She is Japanese and her name is Lottie.

Last week I decided to stop the life support. It was time to let Jenny go. Jeb Bush, Congress, and the Pope couldn’t change my mind. I knew best. I made the phone call and I sold her for parts.