in my hood

As I stated before, I live in the country. The nearest town is a sleepy little burg. It's one of those picturesque towns you sometimes see in the South. There is a square in the middle of downtown. In the center of the square is the statue of some obscure Confederate general. Most of the Victorian buildings surrounding the square house antique shops. There is a tea shop, a handful of law offices, and a post office. Not a lot happens here.

The most popular item at the Along The Way Café is the meat and three special. Actually gossip is the most popular item but the food is good too. Gossip is exchanged over steaming plates of meatloaf or chicken and dumplings or fried catfish with sides of butterbeans, fried okra, and greens. Sweet tea and cornbread or biscuits included. Conversations tend to center on last week's local high school football game. The ever changing hairstyle of the Calvary Baptist Church preacher's wife is also a popular subject.

Most cars here sport one or more Support Our Troops stickers. The cab company will pick you up, drive you to the Piggly Wiggly, wait while you shop for groceries, and drive you home for $3.00. If you want a haircut you go to Brenda's Beauty Box if you're a woman or Pop's Barber Shop if you're a man. You want a salon you better be prepared to drive to Nashville. Everyone knows your name here or at least who your people are. "You're one of those Taylor boys, aren't cha? I know your people."

The times, they are a-changin' though. We had a murder in our town last week. This was no jealous husband/cheating wife job so popular in the South. No siree. This was a shootout right on the town square and not between two drunked up rednecks. Our murder was between two rival rappers. Junior rap stars you might say. One was 18 one was 20 and both had record deals. NY/LA/LV, you got nothing on us. Did I mention our murder had an extra twist? Both of our Notorious B.I.G./Tupac Shakur/Jam Master Jay wannabes were white boys.

The football team and the preacher's wife get a pass this week. At the ATWC the only gossip is the cave boy rappers. Try the peach cobbler fo' shizzle.