Ah, youth!... Ah, history...

In order to help alleviate my boredom I decided I needed a hobby. I thought I’d try gardening. I know. I know I’ve already said I am a house plant’s worst nightmare. But I’m going to try anyway. I want an herb and vegetable garden. And I want dry stack stone walls built around it with a centred fieldstone path. My neighbour said that his son could probably do the work. I vaguely remembered the kid as a scrawny teenager that didn’t look like he could run a garden tiller much less build a stone wall. But I told him to send him over to talk to me.

Yesterday, the neighbour’s son showed up. He turned out not to be a skinny teen at all but a 6' 4", body of death, face of a male super model, smokin’ hot, full grown porn star fantasy. I was amazed to learn he was just home from his junior year in college. Dear Cher, when did all this happen? Obviously I need to keep better track of time... and my neighbours. I have never been attracted to young guys though. Well, I was when I was their age. But now I’m old enough to have sons that age I find the whole older man/younger guy concept unappealing and possessing a high ick factor. No, really. However, I guess he was easy on the eye if you like that ho-hum kind of flawless young Greek god perfection. Besides I’m sure the guy is straight. My gaydar didn’t ping once. .....dammit.

We walked over to where I want the garden and discussed the size and layout of the plot. I told him what I wanted him to do to me in a garden and he sketched it out on a small spiral notebook that took him forever to pull out of the back pocket of the faded denim tightly stretched over a callipygian bubble butt that would bring tears to the eyes of a lifeless stone statue. Not that I was actually staring looking, mind you, because he wasn't my type. And while he struggled to dig this thumb and forefinger into the snug rear pocket his bicep bunched and bulged under tanned velvety skin and veins on his perfectly muscled forearm stood out from his exertions. Underneath the sleeveless T-shirt his dinner plate size pecs swelled over a set of six pack abs. But really, all I was interested in was his help with the garden. When he squatted his thigh muscles nearly split the thin worn jeans that strained to cover powerful legs that you know could wrap around and squeeze you hard enough to find religion again. Oh, sweet baby Jesus! Yes, Lord! Praise God! Not that I cared because that would be, well, wrong. We discussed the wall construction while he tapped his pen against his pouty, perfectly formed lips that were just made to be kissed, licked, and bitten in the heat of wild chandelier swinging hot monkey sex. But I was too distracteded to really make that kind of gross observation. I was amazed by the sudden rapid change in my pulse the weather. I was It was getting hotter by the minute.

Anyway, we made a deal. He starts this week. But I have never been so glad in my life to see someone drive off. As soon as his car rounded the turn in the drive I could finally exhale and relax my stomach muscles. I wonder what that was all about.

Now I’m rethinking botox and maybe an eye lift thinking maybe after the vegetable garden we definitely should get married I should start planning a flower garden.