the only gay in the village

Like Dafydd in BBC’s Little Britain I am the only gay in the (my) village. And I like it that way. I am totally out here and everyone knows it. It gives me somewhat tawdry status but status none the less. All the locals know who to come to for fashion advice, fabulous recipes, and gossip.

God was in his heaven and all was right with the world until yesterday afternoon. I went to the Three Forks Market to buy mushrooms for a risotto I was making for dinner. I stopped dead in my tracks in the produce isle when I spied the nelliest flaming flamer I’ve ever seen squeezing the melons. No, No, No!!! Not another gayer!!! He better be a tourist because I am the only gay in the village and I’m not giving up my title.

Now excuse me while I run to the pub for a bacardi and coke because it’s a gay drink. And I am gay, gay, gay. I am the only gay in the village .