Solution and Disolution

Sometimes solutions to problems are right under your nose. I had a difficult time trying to decide what to do about Jack's ranch and horses. Then one day my friend, Maria, offered to ride with me as I scattered his ashes.

I have know Maria since the early 1980s. We became fast friends in record time. When we met she was the secretary of an important client of mine. One of the first things I learned in business was to be extra nice to secretaries ... especially helpful when you want to get through to their bosses. With Maria, we jumped from business acquaintances to good friends in no time at all.

What a life this woman has led. She was born in Amsterdam in 1934 and lived under the German occupation during World War II. She was born to a Jewish father and a half Jewish mother making her 3/4 Jewish under Nazi racial purity laws. Her parents had the foresight and money to have Maria's birth certificate replaced with one that read "Father Unknown". When the Germans began rounding up Jews in Holland they sent full Jews and 3/4 Jews to the concentration camps. Half Jews were spared ensuring her mother's safety. Maria's father was sent to Auschwitz and was gassed the day he arrived. Maria's mother was called to Gestapo headquarters and grilled about Maria's paternity. Her mother replied she didn't know who was her father because "times are hard ... a woman has to do what a woman has to do" and that saved Maria from a death camp. Earlier her parents had converted most of their money into loose diamonds that that her mother wore in a pouch around her neck. Maria was told that if anything happened to her mother she was to take that pouch and run. They managed to survive the occupation on the money her mother got from selling those stones on the black market. After the war her mother remarried and they emigrated to the US after first living in Cuba and Costa Rica.

I soon found out that Maria's real passion was horses. She is an excellent horsewoman. Other than the brief time when I first met her as a secretary she has trained horses, owned stables, and worked exclusively in that field. When she moved from Texas she settled in Arizona. I would always visit her when I came to visit Uncle Jack. She cooked me dinner many times during Jack's illness. She saddled up and rode with me when I scattered his ashes ... later that night after we had nearly killed a bottle of 18 year old Glenlivet she opened up to me. Times were difficult for her. Unknown to me she was barely getting by on her small social security check. Suddenly the solution to my problem became clear. I offered to let Maria live in Jack's house at the ranch for free and pay her a salary if she would manage the place. I knew she would take excellent care of the horses and it meant I need not sell the ranch. It would always be available when I wanted to stay there. She gratefully accepted.

Having solved that problem I headed to Houston to tackle another one. My company needs an office there for many reasons. If you are in the oil business you need a presence there. Our growth has been phenomenal. We have entered into joint ventures with Schlumberger, Dresser Atlas, BP, and Exxon making a Houston office a necessity. Another reason to open an office there is my partner, Scott wants to move back to Houston. His children and grandchildren are there. So we decided he would head up our US operations and I would handle the international from London. While in Houston I got to catch up with friends and family while taking care of business.

Unfortunately while dealing with Jack's illness, his death, and my company's business my personal life was unraveling. This may be the only time I mention this subject. I have become a gay statistic. I am now an ex. The BF and I have broken up. We decided after much talk and agonizing that dissolving our partnership would be best for us both. My feelings about this are private. I may ... or may not discuss them here in the future but for now the details and reasons I will keep to myself. I will only say that he is a wonderful man and I wish him all happiness and that I hope we always remain best friends. I think that is the standard PR verbiage for these situations. This must be the season for breakups. Two other gay bloggers I read have had their own breakups recently. I know exactly how they feel.