crisis averted

Me: Hey, where did you put those sembei rice crackers?
D: I think I ate the last of them last night.
Me: (staring)
D: I’ll pick up some more tomorrow.
Me: But ... I want some now. If you loved me you would go now.
D: Well, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I’m not driving all the way to Little Tokyo tonight.
Me: That’s very thoughtless and selfish of you, eating the last of them. Why am I just finding out about this serious character flaw now? I drove all the way to Little Tokyo especially to buy those crackers.
D: Liar. You did not. My office building is in Little Tokyo. You were driving there anyway for a nooner.
Me: Totally not true. I only drove there to buy those crackers. Since I was in the neighbourhood I just decided to drop in and give you a mercy hump. You’ve been working so hard on the film. I felt sorry for you.
D: Oh, ok. Well, thanks. You can do that again anytime. hmm ... I should be really working hard about 1:00 tomorrow ...
Me: Too bad. I’ll be busy buying rice crackers at that time.
D: So, 1:30 then?
Me: 1:30 then. Lucky for you I am such a humanitarian.
D: Buy the seaweed/plum and teriyaki kinds tomorrow, Mother Theresa.