[P] was for Paula

Bangkok/2005

This is one of the saddest days of my life. My friend [P], Paula , died yesterday in Baku, Azerbaijan. She was 53. She developed a sudden pulmonary embolism, was rushed to a clinic, worsened, and died before an air ambulance to Vienna could be arranged.

Houston/1969

Paula played a major role in my life. She was my friend throughout high school and was a fellow actor. She and [S], Scott, took me to The Palace that fateful night in 1970 when I met BC. They married later that year as BC and I became lovers. Our paths crisscrossed the globe over the next 35 years. The four of us met often in places like Austin, Paris, London, Halifax, Moscow, New Orleans, and Jakarta; wherever each of us happened to be working. I am godfather to their son and BC was godfather to their daughter. She and I were last together in Baku in April .

Paula came running when BC died, and again when I attempted suicide. She stayed with me, listened to me, loved me, and helped me put together the pieces of my life. I never had to ask. She just appeared. She is the one who told me to take the leap of faith and accept GB.

I talked to her 2 days ago and we were emailing back and forth only hours before she died.

P to Ray: It’s 3 am here. Scott is asleep. Slumber is evading me and I am tired of running after it.... Entertain me.
Ray to P: Shall I sing or dance?
P to Ray: Better dance. Your singing is crap.
Ray to P: Bitch
P to Ray: I am suffering from that old high school malady….the predawn crazies have taken over.
Ray to P: Oh honey, again? You've had those for decades...they always fade in the daylight...or whenever the scotch kicks in...
P to Ray: Fucker...LOVE YOU!

And I loved her. There really are too many angels in heaven tonight.