le plus de choses change, le plus ils restent pareil

The more things change, the more they stay the same. A million years ago when BC and I first visited London we happened upon Trafalgar Square. I was amazed by the number of pigeons there. It didn’t take long to understand why. People were buying bird seed from vendors and feeding the pigeons. BC decided to do the same so he bought a bag of feed and made the mistake of opening it close to his body. In a second he was covered by a mob of frantic pigeons. It was scene straight out of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. I snapped his picture while I burst out laughing. He kept yelling for me to stop which only egged me on. Finally the seed was consumed and BC was free. Then it was his turn to laugh. After all that commotion he was unscathed. Sadly, I was not. He pointed at my shirt and doubled over. I had pigeon shit on me. And thus a tradition was born.

Every time we returned to London BC demanded to go to Trafalgar Square to feed the pigeons and have his picture taken. I would reluctantly follow and take the photo. I have dozens of them. The only difference in the photos is BC's hair style and wardrobe. But there he stands, covered by flapping wings and grinning like an idiot. Incredibly history would repeat each time. BC would feed the pigeons and have his picture taken. Every single time I would get pigeon shit on me but BC would not. Every single time. Filthy fucking flying rats had it in for me.

I applauded Ken Livingstone, Lord Mayor of London, when he banned the bird seed vendors from the square in 2000. Later laws were enacted to restrict public feedings to early mornings. I thought I had been saved. But no, BC would buy bird seed and take it with him. So it continued, more feed, more pigeons, more photos, and more shit on Ray.

Since a trip to Trafalgar Square is a mandatory for tourists I took GB there yesterday. I posed him next to one of the bronze lions and took his picture. As he was standing there he started to laugh and then pointed at me. I didn’t need to look. I had been through it too many times in the past. I just reached into his backpack and took out the Handy Wipes. I might have changed the boy friend but the pigeons weren’t fooled a bit.