Letter to BC

BC,

It was 3 years ago today you left me. In many ways it feels like it was only yesterday. I still remember everything about that day. It is crystal clear in my mind. I don't remember many details of the weeks that followed but that day is acid etched in my memory.

My first year without you was the very worst. I grieved like a wounded animal. You left such a huge hole in my life. I didn't want to go on living in a world with no BC in it. The second year was all about learning to live alone. I hadn't done that in 32 years. I had to relearn everything. This past year has been about reconnecting with life. I've started moving forward again.

I sold our house you know. I had to let go of the things that kept me anchored in our past. I know you understand. You would want me to go on, we talked about it. And yes I met a man, BC. He's a wonderful man. This man loves me and makes me glad I'm alive. He's not a substitue for you. You can never be replaced. But I found I still have enough of the love you gave me to share with someone. You taught me how to love. I'm just passing on lessons I learned from you.

I'd like to think Paula and you are together today. I'd like to think you are both watching me and loving me. I still feel that love. So today is a good day for me. I have known great love. I'm still receiving it. I carry you in my heart always. And I am happy again. Thank you for loving me so many years.

Ray