He would be perfect if only

What do you do about a guy that seems to be perfect in all regards except one? I could spends days listing all of Dark’s good qualities. That would be boring for you even if I might enjoy it. Instead I will tell you his one big flaw. He likes to sleep on a soft mattress. There, I said it. Horrifying isn’t it? I had hopes of converting him to the orthopedic joy of sleeping on a firm mattress. But it isn’t going to happen. He said he hated my mattress in London.

This flaw of his has me thinking the unthinkable – separate beds. As much as I love spooning, cuddling, and touching him in bed I just can’t get comfortable in his soft bed. I guess the only thing to do is get 2 extra long twin beds (1 soft and 1 extra firm) and shove them together. It’s either that or get one of those dual adjustable Sleep Number Beds that Lindsey Wagner hawks on that annoying late night commercial. What number are you? ... *shudder* ... No, I’d rather buy a feather bed and live with backache.

I'll take movie trivia for fifty, Alex

Dark and I were on the deck at twilight last night drinking wine and enjoying the view. Lights from the hills to the city and on the ocean were beginning to twinkle. We both turned when we noticed movement in the bushes at the edge of the yard.

Dark: Look, babe. Over there. Do you see him?
Me: (screaming) "A Dingo Took My Baby!"
Dark: (laughing) It’s a coyote, not a dingo. Don’t you have those on that farm of yours?
Me: ... (sips wine muttering)... “I had a farm in Africa.”
Dark: ... Africa? ... I thought it was in Tennessee. How much wine have you had?
Me: ... “What if I did drink too much wine? Whose business is that anyway? Who knows how much I didn't drink, huh?”
Dark: ... Now I get it. ... Meryl Streep movie quotes. You’re a crazy man.
Me: If I'm crazy it's because ... “I am the French lieutenant's whore”
Dark: OK Meryl, no more wine for you.
Me: ... “So, do you want more eggs or should we just fuck on the linoleum one last time?”
Dark: Umm ... sweetie, tomorrow night could you try channeling Brad Pitt?

A perfect day

Feeling like I won the Super Bowl yesterday morning. ”what're you gonna do now?” I did the only thing possible. I went to Disneyland. Actually it was a surprise from Dark. He told me to dress casually that he was taking me on an outing with 2 of his friends. The minute I saw the Anaheim sign on the highway I knew where we were headed. Weeks ago in London I told him I felt cheated as a child because my parents never took me to Disneyland. As a kid I watched the original Mickey Mouse Club on television religiously. I had a crush on Annette Funicello. I begged my parents to no avail to take me to Disneyland and he promised to take me. That conversation led to the discovery that both of us are amusement park junkies. Both of us love them and have worked in them at some point. He made Halloween props for Knott’s Berry Farm and I worked at Astroworld several summers.

You have never seen four bigger kids at Disneyland yesterday than his friends and us. I had the time of my life. We raced from ride to ride. We outed Prince Charming and Tarzan. And finally I own a pair of mouse ears! It took me fifty years but I now have my own pair. The minute I saw them I bought us some. I refused to take mine off all day yesterday. I wore them at the park, I wore them in the car. I wore them to the restaurant at dinner last night. I wore them to bed last night. Lying entwined (me in my ears) we talked for hours about our childhoods and our pasts. Just as I was about to fall asleep he cracked me up by suddenly sitting up and singing:

Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

Hey, there! Hi, there! Ho, there!
You're as welcome as can be!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

Mickey Mouse! Donald Duck!
Mickey Mouse! Donald Duck!
Forever let us hold our banners high
High! High! High!

Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse
Forever let us hold our banner high
Now's its time to say goodbye
To all our company
M-I-C - See you real soon!
K-E-Y - Why? Because we like you!
M--O--U--S--E

You have to love a man that fulfills your childhood wish AND knows those lyrics. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Day one in Lotus Land

It’s early morning here in Los Angeles and I can’t sleep. My internal clock is still set on London time so it feels like it should be afternoon. I’ve been padding around trying to get my bearings in an unfamiliar house in a new city. Yesterday morning I was eating breakfast in the comfortable surroundings of my own home in London and this morning I am trying to find the coffee pot in a strange kitchen in Lala Land. Sam is sound asleep on the kitchen floor oblivious to my efforts to find the coffee. My laptop is on the kitchen counter and I’m typing, pacing, and trying to shake off the jetlag.

The 11 hour flight from London to LA was largely uneventful except for that major panic attack I had somewhere over the Atlantic. I decided not to drink on the flight so I would be in good form when Dark picked me up. That resolve evaporated about two hours into the flight when I began to rethink what I was doing. This relationship has been moving at warp speed from the moment we met. Roughly one month after we met I uprooted my life and was moving over 5300 miles to be with this man. My heart told me I was doing the right thing but my head was screaming “Slow down, Sparky! Think about what you are doing. It was just six weeks ago traveling around Europe with GB. You just moved back into your house in London and now you and your dog are on a plane headed to LA to be with someone else”. That was when I told the flight attendant I wanted wine, a lot of wine.

I can honestly say that I drank from the east coast to the west coast. Sweet baby Jesus what I was I getting myself into? I have a love/hate relationship with California. There is just something about all that beautiful weather and all those beautiful people that grates on me. Here I was planning on living there again with a man I have only known for 4 weeks. Somewhere over the Midwest my heart overruled my head. The first time I experienced love at first sight it lasted 32 years. Maybe I have another 32 years to give to this man. No matter how much I drank I was definitely sober when the plane landed. My nerves had calmed by the time we had taxied to the arrival gate at LAX.

My eyes locked on him the minute I exited the jet way. Dear Cher, what had I been worrying about? The minute I saw his smile I knew I was home. Picking up my luggage and then Sam, driving into LA, arriving at the house all passed in a blur. An hour after we arrived he was grilling tuna fillet quesadillas and making margaritas for me followed by some of the best porn star quality sex I have ever experienced. I fell asleep after only to wake up in the early morning hours. I eased out of bed without waking him and made my way to the kitchen.

I finally found the coffee and the coffee pot; all bought especially for me because he is a tea drinker. While the coffee is brewing I am going outside to pick oranges for juice. I think I could get used to all this. Hell, I think I’ll even try to learn to love green tea, enjoy the weather, and tolerate all the beautiful people ... maybe. I must learn to be tolerant and patient. Right now my patience is being sorely tried but I guess I will let him sleep a little longer before I go back to the bedroom and jump his bones.

California dreaming

All the leaves are brown - All the leaves are brown
And the sky is gray - And the sky is gray
I've been for a walk - I've been for a walk
On a winter's day - On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm - I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A. - If I was in L.A.
California dreaming - California dreaming
On such a winter's day

It isn’t really winter or a winter day but I have been California dreaming. Actually today is the first official day of autumn here in London. This is my favorite season. Wet, damp, misty and grey is the usual perception of an English autumn. And to a large degree that is true but I love when the foliage turning deep hues of red, orange and yellow in London’s beautiful parks. The colors are rivals of any of the amazing flower displays seen during the summer. Normally I would take Sam out for his walk and enjoy just being in London this special time of year. Instead I made reservations to fly to LA. Autumn will be spent in the land of perpetual sunshine and balmy weather.

Dark flew back to LA on Saturday. The final work on the film has to be completed there. We have been discussing our living situation ad nauseum almost from the beginning. He has to live in LA to work. He has the freedom to travel a lot but his base has to be there. I knew from the beginning that he would be leaving soon. What I didn’t know was how much I would miss him when he did. I moped around the house after he left. Jane and I spent the day together Sunday and wound up getting royally pissed. Jane came upstairs for breakfast and we started on mimosas. After two emptying 2 bottles of champagne without eating a bite we decided to go to the Belvedere restaurant in Holland Park for brunch. We changed into good clothes and set forth for the day. After a terrific brunch of Eggs Benedict and 2 bottles of Bollinger we decided to walk back to the house instead of taking a cab. Our reasoning was simple; we would try and hit as many pubs as possible on our way home. By the time we wound up at our local, the Zetland Arms, I had lost my tie and most of my senses obligating Jane to be the designated adult. And a masterful job she did too. I woke up in my own bed with bottled water and aspirin on the night stand and I can’t tell you how I got there. The last thing I remembered was calling Dark from the pub and telling him that I had decided to marry Jane since he lived in LA. Jane being the clever girl that she is turned me down while Dark told me to catch the next plane to LA. So, when I woke up I called him back and we both decided that we need to be together. I don’t care how much I love London in autumn. The simple fact is I love him more.

Saturday Sam and I are flying to LA. I’ll trade my sweaters and scarves for shorts and track suits; my fish and chips or Shepard’s pie for sushi or avocado and sprouts; and my needy heart for life with the man that stole it. I think this may be one of the best autumns of my life. I’ll let you know.

hum-drum

I wish I knew what the hell is going on with me. I have not been able to think of anything to write about and I have not been keeping up with my favourite blogs. I am bad.

I am also a late bloomer. Middle age crazy did not arrive until I hit 54. Now that it is here it is kicking my ass. GB flew home on Sunday the 28th. Last week should have been spent missing him like crazy. Instead, I met someone.

That is right. I have a new infatuation. Color me slut. I had one relationship for 32 years. Now I have had 2 in 3 months. At this rate by Christmas I should be having a new one daily. ... As if. I am not robbing the cradle this time. Unlike GB, he is closer to my age. He is 42. Yes I know, I am still 12 years older but it sure sounds better than being 33 years older. He is a digital special effects artist from LA with his own lMDB listing. (Huge attraction! Huge I tell you!) Oh, and get this. His name is Dark. Is that a sexy name or what? We met on Monday, speed dated all week, and by Sunday we moved him out of his hotel and into my house.

Other than that, life has been dull. I wish I could think of something to write about.